I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
