just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
