I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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