put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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