If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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