Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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