My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
