Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
