Where is the hickey?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
