The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
