Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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