i don't like sucking hair
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
