She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
