12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
