Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
