he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
