i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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