At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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