Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
