Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
