At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize