Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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