69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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