Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
