Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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