Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
