i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
