I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I love you. Go after that dick
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
