She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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