so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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