We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
