Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You have to summon your inner elephant
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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