Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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