peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
