she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I need a beard to bite.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
