: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
