I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
