Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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