i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wanna passion pit in your ass
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
