There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
