You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
