she was so not down for the gang bang
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
