you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
