At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
