Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
