So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
