I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
