I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We had to coat check the pizza.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize