I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
