I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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