glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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