i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize