We won't sleep together?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
