Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
