Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
