Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
