So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
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Do I have a choice?
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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