and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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