he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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