well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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