sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
