Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
