I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
