Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
