i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish i was in the wii world.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
