id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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