we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
As shirtless as possible
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
