those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
