I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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