Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
