its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
vagina is talking i cant
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize