And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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