Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
