i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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