those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
